Drunken Fist, Sloppy Kisses
by Roving Otter
Summary: We all know what happened when Lee had his first taste of sake. But what happened afterward? Shounen ai...sort of.


It was only a little sip, thought Gai. A single mouthful. Who could have imagined that a few drops of alcohol would turn his lovable, conscientious, well-mannered student into this raving berserker?

The restaurant was in shambles; tables broken in half, chairs smashed to splinters, several fist-sized holes in one wall, and floorboards buckled and cracked, as if the place had just been hit by an earthquake. Shrieking customers stampeded toward the exits, while Tenten tried her best to stop them from trampling each other in their efforts to get out.

Lee's leg whirled out in a kick and sent another table flying through the air. "YAAAAAAA! Sensei, did you shee that?!"

Gai lunged and tackled Lee to the floor. Gritting his teeth, he gripped Lee's arms and pinned them. Lee yowled and thrashed like a wounded animal. "Neji, help me hold him down!"

Neji flung himself on top of Lee, but even with both he and Gai pushing down with all their might, it was all they could do to hold Lee. He bucked beneath them, twisting and striking out blindly. His cheeks were flushed a bright red, his normally round, bright eyes heavy-lidded and cloudy, giving him a sullen, rebellious look. "Lemme go!"

"Lee, snap out of it!" Neji shouted, and grunted as Lee's elbow cannoned into his cheek. "Hold _still!_"

"Shtop-_hic!-_stop telling me what to do!" Lee shouted back, his voice slurred and fuzzy. "Gai Senseeeeei…why ish everyone being so mean to me? I jusht wanted to show the people my new skill! LEMME GO!"

"Lee…Lee, listen to me! You're drunk..."

"I AM NOT DRUNK! I know what I am! And what I am _not _right now is…is…" He looked around through bleary, half-lidded eyes, as if wondering where he was. "Gai Sensei…everything is spinning." He hiccupped and slumped, moaning. "I feel sick."

"Neji, can you hold him for a minute?"

"Oh no. He's _your _precious student. He can throw up on _your _clothes."

"I need my hands free!"

Neji sighed and pinned Lee's arms. "Fine, hurry."

Gai pulled a length of rope from the pouch at his hip and began binding Lee's wrists behind his back. "Forgive me for this, Lee. It's for your own good."

"And everyone else's good," muttered Neji.

"STOPPIT! I doan wanna be tied! WHY ARE YOU TYING ME?"

Lee flailed wildly. His foot slammed into Gai's jaw, knocking him backwards. The impact sent Gai flying through the air. He hit the wall and slid down, dazed.

_Incredible._

Normally, this level of speed and strength was only possible with the Hidden Lotus. If Lee could somehow learn to harness this ferocious energy…

"Gai!" shouted Neji. "Help me!" He had Lee wrapped in a bear-hug from behind, pinning his arms to his sides while Lee struggled like a wildcat in a bag. Lee lurched forward, the movement so sudden and violent that it sent Neji crashing into a nearby table.

Gai staggered to his feet and wiped blood from his mouth. Lee looked up. "Sensei, you are bleeding! Who hash done this to you?!" He staggered to one side, swinging his fists at thin air. "Show him to me! I will punish him!"

"_You _did it, you fool!" snapped Neji.

"I did not! How can you shay that?! I would never-_hic!-_hurt my beloved sensei!"

"Gai, do something!"

Gai lunged and tackled Lee to the floor again. Lee struggled beneath him. Gai hauled him to his feet, grabbed his jumpsuit in both hands and slammed his back against a wall. "Stop this at once!" he shouted. "Do you hear me, Lee? Cease this disgraceful behavior! I am your sensei and you will do as I say!"

Lee blinked and looked up at him, cheeks flushed. "Gai Sensei…" His eyes widened. Then his mouth turned down at the corners and started to quiver. "Are you mad at me?"

Gai froze. "Er…I…"

Lee sniffled, and his round, dark eyes seemed to double in size, brimming with tears. "Please doan be mad. I jusht want to make you proud of me."

"Lee, don't—I'm not really mad, I just need you to calm down…"

Neji rubbed his temples and closed his eyes. "I could have been sorted onto any team," he muttered. "Any team at all."

Lee hiccupped, then his lids drooped. "'M sleepy..." He slumped, going limp. A soft snore escaped him.

Tenten peeked into the restaurant. "Has he calmed down yet?"

"He's sleeping," said Gai.

Neji sighed. "Let's just get him out of here before he wakes up."

"Right." Gai considered for a moment how best to carry Lee out of the restaurant. He could ride piggyback—no, that wouldn't work if Lee was unconscious. He could sling him over his shoulder—no, that seemed so disrespectful, somehow. At last, Gai simply lifted Lee into his arms, cradling him as he would a small child, and carried him out of the restaurant. Neji and Tenten followed at a cautious distance.

Lee murmured in his sleep and snuggled against Gai. His eyes opened, just a crack. "Mmm…'s nice," he murmured.

"Eh?"

"You smell nice."

A flush rose into Gai's cheeks. _People say such strange things when they're drunk. _He glanced over his shoulder to see Neji and Tenten, still following about thirty feet behind. "You can return home if you like," he called.

"Are you sure you can handle him on your own?" called Neji.

"I'll be fine. Our apartment is just around the corner."

"All right. We'll leave him in your hands, then."

"Be careful!" called Tenten.

Gai rounded the corner, entered the apartment building and climbed the stairs, still carrying Lee. Once inside their apartment, he headed into Lee's bedroom.

He looked down at the sleeping boy in his arms. Lee snored softly, his cheeks still flushed. Then his eyelids flickered, and drowsy, half-lidded eyes gazed up at Gai. "Sensei?"

He tensed, prepared to restrain Lee if necessary—but it seemed Lee's wild energy had quieted. He just looked sleepy. "It's all right, Lee. I brought you back home."

"Oh." Lee yawned.

Gai gently set him on his feet. "How are you feeling?"

Lee leaned against him. "My head is all fuzzy. But 's nice." He slipped his arms around Gai's waist and snuggled against his chest, sighing contentedly.

Gai's face grew hot as he stood, back stiff, not quite sure how to react. He'd embraced Lee many times, but this wasn't quite the same. Lee was nuzzling him as if he wanted to burrow into Gai's chest. Not that it was really a bad feeling, it was just—different. And definitely preferable to watching him destroy a restaurant while people fled and screamed in terror.

"Mmmm. You're so warm." Lee rubbed one cheek against him and kneaded his jumpsuit with both hands, like a cat with a blanket.

Gai cleared his throat, his face growing hotter. "You're very affectionate tonight."

Lee looked up and smiled, cheeks flushed. "Gai Sensei…you want to know something?"

"What's that?"

"I like you."

"Well, I like you too, Lee."

"No, I mean…I really, really like you. I think you are the handsomest, nicest, strongest, smartest man I ever met. I like you more than anyone else in the world."

Gai gulped. His heart pounded, and a bead of sweat trickled down the side of his face. "Er…well that's…that's very…"

Lee's arms slipped around his neck. "I want to be yours forever."

Gai stood, paralyzed. He knew he should probably do something, say something. This—surely there was something inappropriate about this. But his head was a blank, his thoughts a buzz of white noise. He'd never had to deal with a situation quite like this before. He dared not encourage Lee, dared not push him away. At least Lee was calm and happy right now. If Gai did anything to agitate him—

A vision of the demolished restaurant flashed through his head.

Lee nuzzled his throat. "Gai Senseeeiii…" His head lifted.

Gai saw Lee's face moving toward his, until those warm, heavy-lidded dark eyes filled his vision, and before he knew what was happening, Lee's lips were pressed against his.

"MMPH!" Gai staggered backwards and bumped into the wall. He tried to pull away, but it was difficult when Lee's arms were wrapped around his neck. The kiss was wet, enthusiastic and sloppy, and he could taste the sake on Lee's breath. He gripped Lee's shoulders and managed to push him away long enough to take a gulp of air. "L-Lee, you don't know what you're doing, you're drunk…"

"Doan be silly, Gai Sensei. I cannot drink. I am under-aged." Then Lee's mouth crashed into his again.

Gai tried to push him away, but Lee—in the grip of that bizarre, alcohol-fueled strength—didn't seem to notice his efforts. Lee tackled him, dragging him to the floor, then sat on his chest and showered more warm, wet kisses on Gai's cheeks, forehead and lips.

Gai gulped. He pushed a hand against Lee's chest, trying to hold him at arm's length. "Lee—you've really got to stop this. If anyone saw us we could be in big trouble." More specifically, Gai would be in trouble. He was a seasoned Jonin. Somehow, he didn't think anyone would believe he'd been overpowered by a drunken twelve-year-old. Of course, if he opened his gates he could probably subdue him, but something in him cringed at the thought of using his full strength against Lee. This was his lovable, dear student.

His lovable, dear student, who was currently trying to push his tongue into Gai's mouth.

Oh God.

Gai scrambled out from under Lee, panting, and stood. "Lee, _stop!"_

Lee didn't seem to hear him. He jumped on Gai, wrapping his arms and legs around him, and pressed his mouth against Gai's again. Gai stumbled in circles around the room, Lee clinging to him like a monkey to a tree. Muffled noises of protest escaped his mouth as he tried to push away Lee's hands, which were currently grabbing at his jumpsuit, trying to pull it off.

This was really getting out of control. He couldn't let this go on. So Gai did the only thing he could think of: he drew back one fist and punched Lee in the face.

Lee flew across the room, struck the wall and slid down. For a moment he sat motionless, his back against the wall, shoulders slumped and head bowed, like a marionette whose strings had been cut.

Gai stood, breathing hard. Guilt nibbled at his heart. He hadn't used his full strength, but even so… "Lee?"

For a moment, Lee didn't move. Then a soft groan escaped his throat. He raised his head, blinked and looked around, his eyes dazed. "Gai Sensei? What is going on? What have I been doing? The last thing I remember is being in the restaurant with you and Neji and Tenten, and then…"

Gai exhaled a breath of relief. "It's all right. You had a little too much to drink, that's all."

A look of mortified shock flashed across his face. "I was drinking?"

"You had some of my sake by mistake." He paused. "You don't remember anything between then and now?"

"No, it is all a blank." His brow furrowed. "Why? What happened?"

"Nothing." Gai cleared his throat. "How do you feel?"

"Tired. And my head hurts. If this is what alcohol does, I do not understand why people like it."

"Here, why don't you lay down? I'll get you some water."

Lee stretched out on his bed while Gai filled a glass from the tap. When he returned, Lee had fallen asleep. He approached and set the glass down on the bedside table. Lee lay on his side, curled into a semi-fetal position, snoring softly. Gai pulled a blanket over him and tucked it in.

Did Lee really like him _that _way? He supposed it wasn't uncommon for students to develop crushes on their teachers, but still, he'd never imagined…

Gai shook his head, dismissing the notion. People said and did strange things when they drank. It didn't mean anything.

A voice spoke in the back of his mind: _Alcohol just lowers inhibitions. It doesn't create feelings that aren't there. _He pushed the thought away. Lee was twelve. Just a child. Too young to really understand his own feelings anyway.

Best to pretend this had never happened.

He noticed a framed picture on the bedside table, laying face-down. It must have been knocked over in the chaos. He picked it up. It was a photo of Team Gai standing together. He stood it upright, then pulled up a chair and settled in. He might as well stay and keep an eye on Lee. He wanted to make sure his student was well and thoroughly sober when he woke up.

After an hour or so, Gai dozed off. Sometime later, a soft groan awakened him, and he opened his eyes to see sunlight shining through the window.

Lee groaned again. "Gai Sensei?"

"I'm here. How do you feel?"

"My head hurts." He tried to sit up, then sank back, eyes shut tight. "It is so bright. Why is it so bright?"

"Hold on…" Gai found a cloth, ran cool water over it, then folded the cloth and lay it over Lee's closed eyes. "You have a hangover," he said, keeping his voice low. Gai never got drunk, himself—he rarely touched alcohol at all, except on special occasions—but he had enough experience with Kakashi's hangovers to know that loud noises would make it worse. "You should probably stay in and rest today."

"If you think that is best. Just how much did I drink, anyway?"

"Not a lot. It seems your system is very sensitive to alcohol. I'd avoid it entirely in the future, if I were you."

"That sounds like a good idea." For a moment, the only sound was Lee's soft breathing. Then he spoke quietly: "It bothers me that I cannot remember anything from last night. I hope I did not say or do anything bad. It would shame me deeply if I did anything to embarrass you."

"Don't worry about it."

"I _did _do something. I can tell by your voice. I…I did not hurt anyone, did I?"

"No, no, nothing like that." Though he was still wondering how he was going to pay for the property damage. Maybe he could pass it off as a training-related expense and have the village reimburse the restaurant owner…

"What did I do, Gai Sensei?"

Gai hesitated. "You said a few strange things. That's all."

"Strange?"

"It doesn't matter now, Lee. Don't trouble yourself about it. Just rest."

* * *

Lee spent most of the day in the apartment, his head a throbbing hornet's nest of pain. Around mid-afternoon, the ache began to recede, and he was able to get a few hours of training in.

That night, he settled into bed and pulled a blanket over himself. For a few minutes, he lay awake, gazing at the framed picture next to him. He smiled, and his sensei's face smiled back. Lee picked up the photo in both hands and kissed the glass, as he did every evening before he went to sleep. "Good night," he whispered.

Then he rolled over, curled up under the covers and closed his eyes.

-The End


End file.
